Relationship and breakups is a very sensitive issue to be treated. However, the choice of writing this piece is born out of the passion to air out gathered opinion and my own view on the lingering and common trend among youths of the 21st century. It has recently been a case of “he broke my heart”, ” I won’t forgive her for the heartbreak” among many other ways of expressing how painful the situation might be.
However, it has been the question of “who is to blame for any break up in relationships?” Here, this piece is not structured in a way to point finger to who is to blame for a break up. The piece is focused on making critical analysis to the conditions that could have led to break up in any relationship.
Growing up, I always feel thrilled when I see two people who are in love exchange and display their love in public. It looks beautiful, yes, you can say that again. Some of the relationship grow to become courtship and some finally get married.
Often times, it’s a shocker when we hear or notice some people who used to love themselves are no longer in a relationship. We sometimes find it difficult to believe. We have always looked up to them and even go as far as wishing our relationships can be like that. We go to them for advice, we are always looking forward to meeting and hearing from them.
As an undergraduate, I’ve made my survey and gather that many of the much proclaimed relationships don’t eventually lead to marriage. For this, there are many reasons. For the purpose of clarification, I will mention some, though not the purpose of this discuss. One major reason I got to realize is that many of those relationships are based on hypocrisy, some are mere show offs, some are to compete with friends and enemies alike.
In addition, the above also might be as a result of pressures from either of the guy or lady, compelling either to bow to the his or her wish of being like this that person. This is what I mean, if SEYI and FEBISOLA are in a relationship, then, FEBISOLA have always watched and seen the way FEMI and BOSEDE have always displayed in public, everyone knows they are in a relationship, she then comes home, begin to put SEYI under pressure, and in a bid to protect his relationship, he (SEYI) bows to the pressure and begin to have a public display of the relationship.
As it is in guys, so it is in ladies, just that on many occasions, the ladies tend to put pressure more on guys. There are many reasons for this as well, without this, most ladies feel they aren’t secured, they feel the guy is not faithful or sincere.
Now, having established the above, I’ve come to realize that different things lead to break ups in relationships. It should be noted at this juncture that relationship breaks in different ways for different reasons.
First, relationship is all about compatibility. I hold a strong believe that no two people who don’t first be in a relationship gets married and last. This suffice to mean that the first step that leads to any marriage is relationship, then courtship. If the compatibility has been adjudged to be enough to encourage togetherness, then, it leads to marriage.
I was having a conversation with a friend, EZEAMAKU AMARACHI SCHOLASTICA one day and she said “it is not what attracted you to each other that will keep you together”. At first, I didn’t understand, until I heard the opinion of KUYE ODUNAYO, she holds a strong position that ” it will be a great disaster when two good people who are not meant to marry, marry”.
I tell friends that if relationship or marriages are only based on emotions, no relationship is lacking that. But I’ve come to realize that many people get in a relationship and expects that from the moment they start, it must always be Rossy. They are carried away with the fact that they see each other when they want, hear from each other when desired. Even before she asks, he already gave. She won’t wait for him to give her money before she cooks
When this happen, we all expect this to continue which obviously cannot be. So, when the slight change come, there is always a discomfort. Many relationships don’t survive this, it leads to break up.
More so, what everyone goes through in his or her relationship differs. Sometimes you see a beautiful relationship, it might represent the opposite of what happens in the relationship. You may see a very caring guy and have a hot temper. In the long run, the girl might feel, “I can’t cope with this or that attitude…” In the end, this eventually leads to breakup as well.
I’ve heard of relationships that were mutually put to an end. This case is not much however but it sometimes happen. When this happen, it hurts and pains. There will be flow of tears, one person will feel betrayed but in the end, if such is based on sincerity, it ends up being a very strong bond.
Moreso, it has also been realized that not every relationship leads to marriage. Here is what I mean before someone crucify me. You go in to a relationship most times without having any prior knowledge of who is what. So, in the process of getting along, we find out that there are some things we cannot cope with, therefore the need to get off such.
So, when this happen, we point accusing fingers at each other blaming the break up on each other. Of a truth, no relationship will break without any reason, some may be natural or cooked. Some people no doubt break without any tangible reason. In a bid to justify this, they just Cook up a reason which obviously are not tenable.
Also, too much years of being in a relationship will lead to break up. You are the first year in the university for instance, you are in a relationship with a guy of the same level, ( not necessarily the same department). The two of you graduate together, now, it takes a about a year or two after service to get settled. Now, add two years to the four years spent on campus, that’s about six years. During this process,there are always lot of pressures especially from the lady to get married on time. If the guy is one who is ambitious and is strong determined to have something substantial before getting married, it leads to break ups.
Many occassions, the just stated point above is the reason for the break up in any popular relationship. Because there have been a high focus on the duo, pressures here and there leads to break ups. When this happen, there are noise everywhere, this time not even from those in the relationship but sympathisers.
In conclusion, having established the fact that there are many reasons for break ups, it is pertinent to note too much of exposure of your relationship leads to break up as well as bowing to pressures from different angles. So, before blaming break up on anybody, consider the possible factors that can lead to such. When there are break ups, we tend to rush to a portion blames, we point accusing fingers to a particular person, most times however, some little things we don’t pay attention to, can actually lead to a break up. Before you judge, consider the factors.
WRITTEN BY: SEYIFUNMI FRANCIS ADEOSUN
WHAT IS YOUR THOUGHT ON THIS?????